Motherhood? It's something all girls think about since we are little. We are given baby dolls that we care for and act like they are our children even though we are babies when we first get these dolls. When I was younger, I liked dolls; I played with them, but didn't think much of it. As I grew older, I realized that I don't really enjoy having children around. They are cute don't get me wrong, but I personally would prefer it if they were kept at a distance from me. Since I turned about 13 I realized that I don't necessarily want children. I want to work and make something of myself. It's not that I believe that children will hamper that, but it would so unfair to them and me. I would probably devote most of my time to my kids, then my work would come in second. I want to be selfish and work hard and better myself. I don't want to feel bad about that, and I would if I had kids. I would never want my children to feel neglected because of my work. One would have less of my attention, and I do not want to make that choice. So some people would say that I could always have kids later in my life, but I do not want that either. I would want to have kids while I am fairly young so that I can run after and play with them. I do not want to be an older because then I won't get to experience all the fun crazy things with my kids. I had young parents and I loved it. We would go on adventures and do crazy things like trapeezeing, ziplining, and a bunch of stuff. I would not have gotten to experience that with them, if they were older. I love the idea of having a family, but right now it does not seem like a priority for me in the future. I want to work and be successful in what I do.
Kids are just not in my plan for life. I am not dismissing the idea, but right now I want to work on me for most of my life. However, I would be willing to compromise if my husband were to want kids. I do love kids, and if I knew that I could balance work and family, then I would do it in a heart beat. I just want to give both of them 100% because I know that they will both mean the world to me. I know that having kids is amazing because you can see it in most parents, but this does not mean that having kids is for everyone. My high school calculus teacher, who is practically my favorite adult ever besides my family, is not having children. She does not want children and her husband agreed with her. She does not feel like she is missing something from her life. She would be an amazing mother because she practically is a mom to me. I can turn to her for anything; she gives the best advice. She poured her heart into teaching, and all her students are basically her children. She helped enlighten me that not everyone needs to be a parent.
Motherhood is not the most important thing in life. This is just my opinion because there are girls who cannot wait to be mothers. One of my closest friends wants to have a baby so bad. She is my age and she cannot wait to be a mother. She is in school studying to be a teacher, but she has told me multiple times that she would quit her job once she has a child. She wants to be a mom and housewife that is her goal, and there is nothing wrong with that. It's crazy to see the contrast between her and I, but we just have different aspirations. Neither one of us is right or wrong because it is just a matter of opinion.
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
Hispanic Mysogyny
Hispanic culture has a misogynist approach to life. This belief is called machismo in Spanish. Most Hispanics try to enforce gender roles where the wife stays at home, cooks, cleans, and basically caters to her husband. Her sole purpose in life is to please her husband and do as he says. They are not given a say or choice because most Hispanics also believe it is okay for a man to hit a woman.
I grew up in a Hispanic household, but my experience was a little different. My mother is very independent and believes that all women should be. She taught me from a young age to be self-sufficient and never rely on anyone. She didn't force me to cook at a young age like most Hispanic moms do to prep their daughters for wifely duties. She always told me that I need to work and have my own money so that if anything were to happen that I can support myself. My dad also told me I need to work hard on my own. My parents have always supported my idea of studying and working hard. They know I want to go to college get my bachelors degree, my masters, and maybe even a phd. They love that I am like this because they don't want me to be just another housewife. That does not mean they do not want me to get married or settle down, but they want me to do this while still holding some independence. They want me to make something of myself. They both wanted me to be independent and not rely on a man.
My grandparents also support my dreams and will to study. In fact, they are so proud that I have this drive and motivation. However, my grandparents want me to be a perfect housewife once I meet a man. I can study and work all I want, but once I meet a man I must please him. I hate cooking, but my grandmother always says I need to learn because what am I going to do when I get a husband. She says I need to learn these things because I will be a wife and mother, and I need to learn how to take care of my family. My grandfather also tells me that I need to be the perfect girl who is thin, pretty, and doesn't talk to much. My grandfather has this weird obsession with my weight because I am the smallest ones in my family; he says I need to watch what I eat so I can maintain my figure because guys don't like big girls. This weekend we were debating something and he hated that I was disagreeing with him. He goes on to say "calladita te ves mas bonita," which translate when you are quiet you look most beautiful. However, he uses "a" at the end of the adjectives which allow him to put gender to his words and he is specifically talking about women. My grandfather who treasures me basically told me that I would be prettier if I shut up because he did not agree with what I was saying. It just baffles me because he loves that I am studious, but the second I step out of line he turns against me. This just further enforces the Hispanic misogyny of how women must be submissive.
I grew up in a Hispanic household, but my experience was a little different. My mother is very independent and believes that all women should be. She taught me from a young age to be self-sufficient and never rely on anyone. She didn't force me to cook at a young age like most Hispanic moms do to prep their daughters for wifely duties. She always told me that I need to work and have my own money so that if anything were to happen that I can support myself. My dad also told me I need to work hard on my own. My parents have always supported my idea of studying and working hard. They know I want to go to college get my bachelors degree, my masters, and maybe even a phd. They love that I am like this because they don't want me to be just another housewife. That does not mean they do not want me to get married or settle down, but they want me to do this while still holding some independence. They want me to make something of myself. They both wanted me to be independent and not rely on a man.
My grandparents also support my dreams and will to study. In fact, they are so proud that I have this drive and motivation. However, my grandparents want me to be a perfect housewife once I meet a man. I can study and work all I want, but once I meet a man I must please him. I hate cooking, but my grandmother always says I need to learn because what am I going to do when I get a husband. She says I need to learn these things because I will be a wife and mother, and I need to learn how to take care of my family. My grandfather also tells me that I need to be the perfect girl who is thin, pretty, and doesn't talk to much. My grandfather has this weird obsession with my weight because I am the smallest ones in my family; he says I need to watch what I eat so I can maintain my figure because guys don't like big girls. This weekend we were debating something and he hated that I was disagreeing with him. He goes on to say "calladita te ves mas bonita," which translate when you are quiet you look most beautiful. However, he uses "a" at the end of the adjectives which allow him to put gender to his words and he is specifically talking about women. My grandfather who treasures me basically told me that I would be prettier if I shut up because he did not agree with what I was saying. It just baffles me because he loves that I am studious, but the second I step out of line he turns against me. This just further enforces the Hispanic misogyny of how women must be submissive.
Wednesday, March 1, 2017
Sex Ed
The first time I really learned about sex was from my older brother. I don't remember how old I was, but since he is two years older than me my parents had the "talk" with him. He then proceeded to come to me and tell me everything that my parents had told him. Ever since then my brother has been my go to for any kind of information that I felt uncomfortable talking to my parents about. My older brother and I have a really close relationship; he is one of my best friends. He has told me about his hook ups and we talk about sex. He always told me to use protection and to be never give in to pressure. He also told me that if I were to get into a serious relationship with someone that I should ask them to get tested before we slept together. He honestly taught me so much that my parents or school never did. I went to Catholic school my whole life so their form of sex ed was to remain abstinent since the Catholic Church does not believe in contraception. However, in my high school my health teacher did try actually talking to us. She would let us ask questions and if we felt uncomfortable saying them, then we could write them down. It was a great system honestly because everyone was so open and willing to talk. Although, I did go to an all-girl school so it was easier to talk without feeling like we are being judged from the guys. It was still very informative and it is much better than telling us to just not have sex. Most teens are going to have sex so it is better to just tell them how to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancies and STIs.
I saw this video "You will die" on Facebook and I just thought about how fear tactics are used to prevent sex in teens. It is just insane that people are so afraid of sex that they will tell kids that they will die if they have sex. Also in The Purity Myth how one of the students said that her teacher told the children that they would go to jail and be fined if they had sex. That is just wrong because it is drilling in kids that sex is wrong. They will either fear or when they do have sex they will keep it a secret. They will not know how to use condoms, and if something goes wrong, then they will be to afraid to talk about it with anyone. It is just sad and crazy how people are so afraid of a natural thing that all people and animals do. IT IS JUST SEX!! It is not murder or anything foul.
I saw this video "You will die" on Facebook and I just thought about how fear tactics are used to prevent sex in teens. It is just insane that people are so afraid of sex that they will tell kids that they will die if they have sex. Also in The Purity Myth how one of the students said that her teacher told the children that they would go to jail and be fined if they had sex. That is just wrong because it is drilling in kids that sex is wrong. They will either fear or when they do have sex they will keep it a secret. They will not know how to use condoms, and if something goes wrong, then they will be to afraid to talk about it with anyone. It is just sad and crazy how people are so afraid of a natural thing that all people and animals do. IT IS JUST SEX!! It is not murder or anything foul.
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