Hispanic Mysogyny

    Hispanic culture has a misogynist approach to life. This belief is called machismo in Spanish. Most Hispanics try to enforce gender roles where the wife stays at home, cooks, cleans, and basically caters to her husband. Her sole purpose in life is to please her husband and do as he says. They are not given a say or choice because most Hispanics also believe it is okay for a man to hit a woman.
   I grew up in a Hispanic household, but my experience was a little different. My mother is very independent and believes that all women should be. She taught me from a young age to be self-sufficient and never rely on anyone. She didn't force me to cook at a young age like most Hispanic moms do to prep their daughters for wifely duties. She always told me that I need to work and have my own money so that if anything were to happen that I can support myself.  My dad also told me I need to work hard on my own. My parents have always supported my idea of studying and working hard. They know I want to go to college get my bachelors degree, my masters, and maybe even a phd.  They love that I am like this because they don't want me to be just another housewife. That does not mean they do not want me to get married or settle down, but they want me to do this while still holding some independence. They want me to make something of myself. They both wanted me to be independent and not rely on a man.
    My grandparents also support my dreams and will to study. In fact, they are so proud that I have this drive and motivation. However, my grandparents want me to be a perfect housewife once I meet a man. I can study and work all I want, but once I meet a man I must please him. I hate cooking, but my grandmother always says I need to learn because what am I going to do when I get a husband. She says I need to learn these things because I will be a wife and mother, and I need to learn how to take care of my family. My grandfather also tells me that I need to be the perfect girl who is thin, pretty, and doesn't talk to much. My grandfather has this weird obsession with my weight because I am the smallest ones in my family; he says I need to watch what I eat so I can maintain my figure because guys don't like big girls. This weekend we were debating something and he hated that I was disagreeing with him. He goes on to say "calladita te ves mas bonita," which translate when you are quiet you look most beautiful. However, he uses "a" at the end of the adjectives which allow him to put gender to his words and he is specifically talking about women. My grandfather who treasures me basically told me that I would be prettier if I shut up because he did not agree with what I was saying. It just baffles me because he loves that I am studious, but the second I step out of line he turns against me. This just further enforces the Hispanic misogyny of how women must be submissive.