Psychology of Women

So being that this is my last blogpost for the class I would like to dedicate this blog post to my class and Dr. Fairchild. Dr. Fairchild, you have been amazing this semester. I think you are an amazing professor because you keep the class interesting, but you still teach. I loved your class last semester because of you, and of course I wanted to take more with you. I honestly loved class this semester. It was honest, fun, and just great. I felt like I could say anything without any judgement whatsoever. I am not one to participate, if you can remember from last semester. However, this class was different I do not think there was a day in which I did not participate. It was not because of the grade either because I still do not really participate in classes that require it. I feel like I learned a lot from this class even it was just on being able to speak up. I already knew I was a feminist, but this class helped me solidify it. It helped me not just keep the title to myself, but also be able to proclaim it loud and proud. I honestly would recommend this class to anyone because it was amazingly informative and fun. It did not feel like a chore or some class that I had to drag myself to. I did not believe this could happen with a class that was not math or science, my favorites. You showed me a whole new world and honestly I would love to take another class with you, Dr. Fairchild. So I just wanted to thank you for being an amazing professor. Keep doing what you're doing because it works. I'll miss you soo much! Stay awesome!

Girl Power

I have this obsession with the show American Ninja Warrior where people compete on an impossible obstacle course which test their agility and strength. This show is primarily dominated by men since they are larger and have bigger wingspans then the girls so it is "easier" for them. However, throughout the most recent years girls have been stepping up to the plate such as Kacy Catanzara, Jessie Graff and so much more. Kacy Catanzara is 5 ft and 100 lbs soo she is so petite and nothing like these huge men that compete. That did not stop her because she was the first women to qualify and complete in the city finals. This gave her entry into the Las Vegas finals which is three stages and much harder. Here is a video of her competing Kacy Dallas finals. She did not make is pass the first stage of Vegas, but this was still an incredible thing. She worked her butt off for this. She deserved so much recognition and respect because most men could not even make it that far. The next super star is Jessie Grass who is a stunt double on SuperGirl. Last year she broke all of the records that Kacy set. She crushed the qualifiers in Las Vegas, fell in the finals but with her time and placement she moved onto to the trials in Vegas. Jessie Graff qualifiers Jessie Graff finals She then proceeded to make history as the first woman to complete Stage 1 of the Vegas Finals.Las Vegas stage 1 She made it pretty far in Stage 2 until she fell. This is still an amazing thing because not many people make it this far especially not women.Stage 1 Jessie Graff This show is soo empowering as a girl watching it. I am obsessed and every time I watch it I want to go work out. It just proves that with time and practice anyone can do anything. I highly recommend the show for everyone.

Gina Rodriguez Fight for Equality

Gina Rodriguez is an actress who is known for her role as Jane from the television show Jane the Virgin. She is a big advocate for equality whether it is racial or gender. She has said many times that she wants to be a successful actress in all senses not just as a Latina. She recently worked with LUNA on pushing a campaign for equal pay. She says three things women need to do are "Understand Your Worth," "Change Your Perspective," and "Start a Conversation." Women need to know their are valuable, hard workers and they deserve to be paid the same as men. They cannot stay silent because then they will get no where. They need to make themselves heard if they wish to see a change. She also does a video ad where she speaks of how women need to speak up and fight. She is seen practicing boxing, which just helps push the idea of female empowerment. She looks strong, and it motivates me to want to fight too.
LUNA ad
Three things for equal pay

Shameless... Purity Ball

Soo I just started watching the show Shameless, and it is very open about sex. There are multiple sex scenes, however that is not the point. There is a family made up of a father, mother and daughter. The father is very religious and is always lecturing his daughter. He tells his daughter he would give her a car if she were to renew her virginity and attend a purity balls with him. He starts to say this is his job to protect her and her virginity. He is very controlling and does not trust her to make any decisions. At the purity ball, the girls are forced to explain their sexual encounters to their fathers and everyone else in the room. They all seem embarrassed and uncomfortable because who wants to talk about their sexual encounters in front of their father. Most of the stories involve touching genitalia, but penetrative sex. However, when it comes to Karen the daughter she goes into detail about all the times she has oral sex and penetrative sex. Her father becomes enraged and calls her a whore. He basically destroyed her because after this she dyes and cuts her hair. She starts to have more sex and be more reckless with who she has sex with. It was a roller coaster because this father could not accept that his child was a sexual being.
Purity Ball scene

If women were in charge

More videos, soo as I scrolled to facebook and saw a video about what would happen if women were in charge of the government. The video starts with a bunch of women surrounding a table saying they need to make laws which will ensure that men will make the right choices.  So its basically what the lawmakers do now since they do not trust us to make the right decisions when it comes to our bodies such as health care or abortions. They say that men can cum or produce sperm unless it is to produces life. They also go on to say there should be an extra tax to their products just like there is on females' products, the pink tax. There needs to be more testing on Viagra and physicians can pull it if they feel it goes against their religious belief. This is basically what happens with abortions and birth control. This video really puts in perspective what lawmakes do to women, but in a way that men can understand.
If women were in charge

F**k It

In honor of International Women's Day a t-shirt company called FCKH8 did a promotion in which a series of young girls curse and say "Fuck it." They start off saying "pretty" and then they go on a tirade saying they aren't some pretty fucking helpless damsel in distress. They go on to address pay inequality, sexual assault, and other issues. This organization helps by donating proceeds to help fight inequality. Even better in the end there is a boy in a dress pointing out when it is said it is bad to act like a girl then you are just saying it is bad to be a girl. This video caught my attention because it is soo strange to see little girls in dresses cursing. I honestly loved it because it had my attention, and it was a great cause. However, not a lot of people felt the same way as you can tell from the comments under the video. An example is "Those who actually think that having young children dropping the F bomb is a good way of getting a point across or to share facts, you are absolutely delusional. This is ridiculous. A foul mouth gets you nowhere and doesn't make you a strong confident female." So basically people were offended by cursing, but that's not the point. Cursing is seen as unladylike which is why these girls were doing it. It was too show a contrast. I have a potty mouth, and I curse a good amount of the time. The amount of times I have had people say to me that is not ladylike and it makes me ugly is unfathomable. It is just crazy because curses are just words that we have put a negative connotation on.
FUCK IT

Trump v Planned Parenthood

Well, it is official Trump found his loophole to defund Planned Parenthood. He just recently signed a bill allowing states to withhold federal funding from Planned Parenthood. Now this puts the power in the states' hands but we have learned from the book Pushed that this will affect many people in the central and southern regions of America. In these places there are only a few if not only one Planned Parenthood for the state; this already shows how resistant these states are to Planned Parenthood. Now the states can cut the funding, which will make it very difficult to keep these clinics open. However, they do not realize that not one penny from federal funding goes to abortion, which let's be real is their main concern. I just find it frustrating that now these women who want affordable healthcare or even abortion now have to go through a greater inconvenience. Instead of travelling across the state now they must travel to different states to find the closest Planned Parenthood. I am so done with men making decisions over women's bodies and healthcare. This does not effect them so they should not have a say. We need more women in government fighting for this because right now this is ridiculous. However, I guess it is good that he has not completely pulled the funding. There are still states that will allow the funding to go to Planned Parenthood, which is great.

Emma Watson

Emma Watson is a known advocate for feminism and female rights. She speaks at UN conferences in behalf of women, which is amazing. She has educated herself and become very mature. She spoke at a UN conference about feminism and how if you don't like the word then don't go by it. However, you should still support the principle of it. You should still want equality of the genders and most people do but they are scared to put on the label feminist. Feminist has recently been given a negative connotation which is similarly to women who hate men. This is not true, and people should educate themselves. Feminism is beneficial to everyone; girls should be allowed to play sports and boys should be allowed to express their emotions. I used to be one of those people that wouldn't label myself a feminist because I was afraid of the judgement that I would face. However I always believed in feminist ways; I believe women should be treated as equals to men. Women should be able to work, and men should be allowed to express themselves. So why was I not calling myself a feminist when I clearly was. I have owned the title feminist, and I am much more verbal about my beliefs. This has come with some complications because most people do not like verbal feminist. This past spring break when I was home I was speaking to my uncle and his came up to him and asked him for permission to go out. I interjected and said she didn't need to ask him for permission because she is a grown woman with her own money. My mother proceeded to say "Sorry ever since college. Dulce has become a feminist." I lost it and told them yes I am a feminist and I will express my opinion. It was just crazy because I always had these beliefs and no one had a problem with it until I started to express them. I understand that people are afraid to label themselves feminist, but they should still verbalize their beliefs in equality because how else do we change this misogynistic world.

Emma Watson UN conference

The price of being a woman

I saw this video on Facebook a while back. It is a poem called "Woman Card." It is a satire to advertisements in which it is selling the Woman Card aka just being a woman. It starts off saying that being a woman allows you to get away with things like being irrational, flirting your way into bars and out of speeding tickets. However, it comes with a price which 78 cents to the man's dollar, and 64 cents if you are a minority. It also has conditions such as feminine hygiene and other female products. It also points off if your card is color, then you will experience higher expenses and more oppression. It goes on to explain the injustices that women face and how it solely because they are women. This is a gag video, but it points out very prominent issues that women face in society. It also helps point out a serious issue in a way that won't offend people, which is good because many people get offended by feminism. Although it makes no sense because feminism is just wanting equality of the genders. However, many people don't understand which is why messages such as this must come in a light heard, joking manner.

Motherhood?

   Motherhood? It's something all girls think about since we are little. We are given baby dolls that we care for and act like they are our children even though we are babies when we first get these dolls. When I was younger, I liked dolls; I played with them, but didn't think much of it. As I grew older, I realized that I don't really enjoy having children around. They are cute don't get me wrong, but I personally would prefer it if they were kept at a distance from me. Since I turned about 13 I realized that I don't necessarily want children. I want to work and make something of myself. It's not that I believe that children will hamper that, but it would so unfair to them and me. I would probably devote most of my time to my kids, then my work would come in second. I want to be selfish and work hard and better myself. I don't want to feel bad about that, and I would if I had kids. I would never want my children to feel neglected because of my work. One would have less of my attention, and I do not want to make that choice. So some people would say that I could always have kids later in my life, but I do not want that either. I would want to have kids while I am fairly young so that I can run after and play with them. I do not want to be an older because then I won't get to experience all the fun crazy things with my kids. I  had young parents and I loved it. We would go on adventures and do crazy things like trapeezeing, ziplining, and a bunch of stuff. I would not have gotten to experience that with them, if they were older. I love the idea of having a family, but right now it does not seem like a priority for me in the future. I want to work and be successful in what I do.
   Kids are just not in my plan for life. I am not dismissing the idea, but right now I want to work on me for most of my life. However, I would be willing to compromise if my husband were to want kids. I do love kids, and if I knew that I could balance work and family, then I would do it in a heart beat. I just want to give both of them 100% because I know that they will both mean the world to me. I know that having kids is amazing because you can see it in most parents, but this does not mean that having kids is for everyone. My high school calculus teacher, who is practically my favorite adult ever besides my family, is not having children. She does not want children and her husband agreed with her. She does not feel like she is missing something from her life. She would be an amazing mother because she practically is a mom to me. I can turn to her for anything; she gives the best advice. She poured her heart into teaching, and all her students are basically her children. She helped enlighten me that not everyone needs to be a parent.
   Motherhood is not the most important thing in life. This is just my opinion because there are girls who cannot wait to be mothers. One of my closest friends wants to have a baby so bad. She is my age and she cannot wait to be a mother. She is in school studying to be a teacher, but she has told me multiple times that she would quit her job once she has a child. She wants to be a mom and housewife that is her goal, and there is nothing wrong with that. It's crazy to see the contrast between her and I, but we just have different aspirations. Neither one of us is right or wrong because it is just a matter of opinion.

Hispanic Mysogyny

    Hispanic culture has a misogynist approach to life. This belief is called machismo in Spanish. Most Hispanics try to enforce gender roles where the wife stays at home, cooks, cleans, and basically caters to her husband. Her sole purpose in life is to please her husband and do as he says. They are not given a say or choice because most Hispanics also believe it is okay for a man to hit a woman.
   I grew up in a Hispanic household, but my experience was a little different. My mother is very independent and believes that all women should be. She taught me from a young age to be self-sufficient and never rely on anyone. She didn't force me to cook at a young age like most Hispanic moms do to prep their daughters for wifely duties. She always told me that I need to work and have my own money so that if anything were to happen that I can support myself.  My dad also told me I need to work hard on my own. My parents have always supported my idea of studying and working hard. They know I want to go to college get my bachelors degree, my masters, and maybe even a phd.  They love that I am like this because they don't want me to be just another housewife. That does not mean they do not want me to get married or settle down, but they want me to do this while still holding some independence. They want me to make something of myself. They both wanted me to be independent and not rely on a man.
    My grandparents also support my dreams and will to study. In fact, they are so proud that I have this drive and motivation. However, my grandparents want me to be a perfect housewife once I meet a man. I can study and work all I want, but once I meet a man I must please him. I hate cooking, but my grandmother always says I need to learn because what am I going to do when I get a husband. She says I need to learn these things because I will be a wife and mother, and I need to learn how to take care of my family. My grandfather also tells me that I need to be the perfect girl who is thin, pretty, and doesn't talk to much. My grandfather has this weird obsession with my weight because I am the smallest ones in my family; he says I need to watch what I eat so I can maintain my figure because guys don't like big girls. This weekend we were debating something and he hated that I was disagreeing with him. He goes on to say "calladita te ves mas bonita," which translate when you are quiet you look most beautiful. However, he uses "a" at the end of the adjectives which allow him to put gender to his words and he is specifically talking about women. My grandfather who treasures me basically told me that I would be prettier if I shut up because he did not agree with what I was saying. It just baffles me because he loves that I am studious, but the second I step out of line he turns against me. This just further enforces the Hispanic misogyny of how women must be submissive.

Sex Ed

     The first time I really learned about sex was from my older brother. I don't remember how old I was, but since he is two years older than me my parents had the "talk" with him. He then proceeded to come to me and tell me everything that my parents had told him. Ever since then my brother has been my go to for any kind of information that I felt uncomfortable talking to my parents about. My older brother and I have a really close relationship; he is one of my best friends. He has told me about his hook ups and we talk about sex. He always told me to use protection and to be never give in to pressure. He also told me that if I were to get into a serious relationship with someone that I should ask them to get tested before we slept together. He honestly taught me so much that my parents or school never did. I went to Catholic school my whole life so their form of sex ed was to remain abstinent since the Catholic Church does not believe in contraception. However, in my high school my health teacher did try actually talking to us. She would let us ask questions and if we felt uncomfortable saying them, then we could write them down. It was a great system honestly because everyone was so open and willing to talk. Although, I did go to an all-girl school so it was easier to talk without feeling like we are being judged from the guys. It was still very informative and it is much better than telling us to just not have sex. Most teens are going to have sex so it is better to just tell them how to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancies and STIs.
     I saw this video "You will die" on Facebook and I just thought about how fear tactics are used to prevent sex in teens. It is just insane that people are so afraid of sex that they will tell kids that they will die if they have sex. Also in The Purity Myth how one of the students said that her teacher told the children that they would go to jail and be fined if they had sex. That is just wrong because it is drilling in kids that sex is wrong. They will either fear or when they do have sex they will keep it a secret. They will not know how to use condoms, and if something goes wrong, then they will be to afraid to talk about it with anyone. It is just sad and crazy how people are so afraid of a natural thing that all people and animals do. IT IS JUST SEX!! It is not murder or anything foul.

2 Dope Queens Ep 8 "Dude For a Day"

  I listened to #8 Dude For a Day- 2 Dope Queens; they had three guest speakers Ashley Brooke Roberts, Kevin Allison, and Baratunde Thurston. I found this episode very interesting and funny. I enjoyed how it wasn't just one long talk, instead it had multiple parts and stories.
  It started off with Phoebe talking about how she made a Tinder recently, and the men on it kept asking her the same question. They would ask if she was either Caribbean or American because she is African American. They seemed to lose interest when she said she was American instead of Caribbean. I find that rude because these men were judging her on her ethnicity. It is as if they think Caribbean women are better than American women. They didn't even take the time to get to know her, but instead immediately judged her. However, it is Tinder and it is a degrading app that is used mainly for hooking up. It just seems wild to me that people are so quick to dismiss someone because of their ethnicity.
  I also enjoyed Ashley Brooke Roberts skits because she talks about a man calling her unattractive for smoking, and she automatically felt the need to justify herself. She then speaks of how the things that men find sexy are things that are unreasonable. They want women to wear corsets and stilettos. These are both beautiful things, but they are restricting. She says that men want women to wear things that limit their movement. It seems like that is a common theme that men want women to shrink and take up less space. She says that men feel that women are like communal farmland because they all feel like they need to give their opinion on us and try to take part in our lives.
  Another part was when Phoebe and Jessica talk about being men for a day. One says that if she were to be a man that she would do the basic things like pee standing up, masturbate, and just do normal daily things for a guy. However, the other one went as far as to say that she would sleep around, be a jerk, and just abuse her new found male privilege. She wants to know what it feels like to not have any rules or fear that she will be judged the same way a woman would be if she were that promiscuous. She does it in a joking way, which I think is very clever because some people would get offended by hearing her say this. They could call her a man hater or another angry feminist.
  I really enjoyed this podcast. It was funny and talked about many different things. I would totally listen to another episode after hearing this one.

Latina Representation

      So this week, we are talking about Intersectionality which according to Oxford Dictionary means "The interconnected nature of social categorizations such as race, class, and gender as they apply to a given individual or group, regarded as creating overlapping and interdependent systems of discrimination or disadvantage." This topic got me to thinking of myself because I am a proud Hispanic woman. My father is from Peru, and my mother is half Puerto Rican and Salvadorean. I personally claim all three as a part of who I am because I feel as if I have been raised in all three cultures equally. I am proud of my heritage and my culture. I follow a bunch of Facebook pages that appeal to Latinos like Mitu and Pero Like. They are like a Hispanic version of Buzzfeed in which they just talk about culture and make fun of Hispanic parents. The other day on a page called Mic I saw a video about Latina Representation in the Media. It was unbelievably accurate because it calls out Hollywood for always portraying Hispanic women as hotheads, maids, or dumb. I had never really thought about this, but now that I have seen it I realize how true it is. These stereotypes of Hispanic women can be quite damaging because this is what people will now associate with Hispanic women. They know have these preconceived notions which are from true because not all Hispanic women are sexy, dumb, maids, and over emotional.
    I have experienced this before because I have had people tell me that I am typical Hispanic hothead because I am loud and I can get quite angry. However, this is not true because it takes a lot for me to get angry. I try to keep myself under control because I do not want people to box me into these stereotypes. I have also had a Caucasian friend tell me that I do not look like a typical Hispanic because I am thin and I do not have big hips or boobs. It is as if my body has anything to do with my heritage or race. It is just incredible how people only believe the stereotypes and do not know how to keep an open mind. My two best friends here at Manhattan College are two white girls, and they tell me all the time "You are not really Hispanic. You are a white girl just like us." They are trying to take away a part of me, and a part that I hold dear to my heat. Yes I may like pop music and am fully immersed in the American culture but that does not mean that I am not Hispanic. I grew up in private school so I have been surrounded my white people my whole life so I have adopted parts of their lifestyle, but at the end of the day I am Hispanic. I go home, listen to my Bachata and speak Spanish to my family. They do not get to take that away from me just because I also understand parts of the culture and world. I do not have to be just one. I am an Americanized Latina and proud because I get to experience two very different, but amazing worlds.
  It is also bad because then there are also other Hispanics who judge other Hispanics for not being Hispanic enough. If you don't speak Spanish then you are basically disowned because it is as if you are neglecting your culture. It is also like that if you don't like all Hispanic food or can't dance. This was a problem that the famous Tex-Mex singer Selena felt because she did not grow up speaking Spanish. She sang her songs in Spanish, but she did not fully understand them. When she would do interviews, the interviewers would find it unbelievable that she did not know Spanish. It is just sad because they should be happy that one of our own is making it in the music industry, but instead they are only criticizing her. This is seen in many Hispanics who were born and raised in America, this is why videos such as this are very prominent When You're Not Latinx Enough. We are judged even though we should be embracing one another.

Talking Feminism in A Male Dominated Class Setting

    So on Monday, I had my English class, and we read a narrative essay called "My Hips, My Caderas" by Alisa Valdes. This essay was about a Hispanic woman's self image and how she felt torn between two worlds. She wanted to be this so she could please the white boys in her class, but she also knew how important big hips were to her Hispanic culture. As she grew up, she had white boys call her a "fatass," but she also had Hispanic men cat call her at the age of 12. She goes on about this internal conflict of who she should please, but also starts to degrade the white, American women as well as Hispanic men who she feels have objected her. In my English class, it is about 75% males and 25% females. Our English teacher points out Alisa's crude language in how she treats other and asks if it necessary. The males in the class say no because Alisa speaks of how she uses her figure to get things from guys if she is out at a bar. They say she should speak kinder words, but they were not understanding her full message. She may have said harsh things, but that is because she feels so strongly. If you have never felt self-conscious about your body or felt sexualized, then you will not understand. She uses this language in hopes that her message gets across, and it is clear that these boys in my class did not understand.
    Today, I had English again and we read another story about body image but in the males perspective. Throughout the whole narrative there was one line on women's body image but we still spent the class speaking of  women. The author wanted to make the point of how G.I. Joe is equally as influential as Barbie on how children see themselves. The boys will feel that they have to be big and strong, while the girls will feel that they have to be thin like Barbie. I thought this was a great point because I honestly never thought of that. However, this one boy did not agree because he turned it into an Anti- Feminist rant. He said feminist try to get rid of Barbie, but instead turn to celebrities and tell girls to strive to be like them "because of their beauty only." He then proceeded to say that women now say look towards the "Kardashians" and try to be beautiful and strong like them. He says we displace our image from Barbie to celebrities. I have nothing against the Kardashians, but if you are looking for a strong, powerful, and Feminist woman they would not be my example. He also says that we still only look to beauty standards instead of their accomplishments. I just can't wrap my head around the fact that today was supposed to be about male's body image, but it turned to be about female's. This boy could not handle the fact that we said boys have feeling because he kept going back to women. It was just unbelievable because he acted as if he knew what all female think, but he was the farthest thing from correct. It was just baffling, and I just tried to hold my tongue because I knew that I could not answer in a civil way.